80 You Survive the Layoff But Lose Your Spark

Welcome to the Great Leader Great Mom podcast, where we trade in mom guilt and burnout for courage, calm, and a whole lot more joy. I'm your host, Liz Jolly, engineer, turned life coach, mom of three, and founder of the School of Courage. Here we talk about leading at work and at home, without losing your sanity, your sense of humor, or yourself. Because being both a great leader and a great mom, it's not about doing it right, it's about being courageous. So if you're ready to drop the guilt and grow your courage, you're in the right place. This is episode 80 and we are talking about the feeling of apathy after layoffs. Okay, so let's talk about what's really happening in your office potentially right now You know, how like after a layoff everybody keeps talking about the future, the new org chart, the new strategy, the new buzzwords, the new themes, the new behaviors. But behind the scenes, nobody actually feels excited Nobody feels energized. Nobody's raising their hand to say, yes, this is the moment I've been waiting for. If anything, people feel numb. They're going through trying to find org charts of who's gone Who's still here? What do the new organizations look like? People are showing up and they're staring at their computers and they're thinking, I don't even know if I want to be here anymore. What are we doing? Where are we going? Why are we even doing this? Right? There's so much numbness. That's apathy And I know many of you may be experiencing that this week. It's not laziness, it's not entitlement, it's exhaustion And apathy is what your brain does when it's tired of being disappointed. So let's talk about the apathy hangover. You know that moment when you walk into a meeting after layoffs and everybody is kind of just staring at each other People are polite, they're quiet, they're waiting for someone else to go first because nobody wants to pretend they're thrilled about the future. That's an apathy hangover. It feels safer to roll your eyes than to get your hopes up again. It feels safer to shut down than to care. Your brain thinks it's protecting you It says things like, let's not get invested again. We just got hurt last time, or it all unraveled on us. Apathy is a self-protection dressed up as indifference. Let's talk about the lie we tell ourselves Once things settle down, dot da right? And this is such a big trap we fall into during a reorganization. It's this idea that clarity will come later. Someone else will explain it, we'll know the strategy better. We'll feel motivated then when we have a full team and we know what we're doing. We have a racy chart, right? I'll care again when the leadership communicates clearly. But my friends, how many times have you been through this cycle? Something changes and everybody says, this is the turning point. And then six months later we're doing the same thing with different names on the sides, different buzzwords. waiting for things to settle down or to find our way. Here's the truth. Stability, it doesn't come from the org chart. It doesn't come from a racy. It doesn't come from your boss. It doesn't come from the next big announcement or the next video. Those things might influence your day, but your sense of safety, your sense of self-worth, your spark, your confidence, your clarity, that has to come from you. And it always has. You just probably gave credit to the team around you or your boss that you really liked. And that's not the way it works. So how do we reignite your spark? without waiting for permission from anyone else. The question becomes, if you stop waiting for someone else to hand you the clarity, what is it you want to create? Instead of asking, why did they do this? Where are we even going? I just don't see it. Why don't they communicate more? Try something different. What do you want in this next chapter, this next phase in the group you're in, whether it's new or old, whether you have a different leader or the same one? What is the energy that you want to bring to this? How do you want to show up? How do you want to lead, even if you don't have leader in the name of your title? Because here's the reality. You don't need the old team, the old boss, or the old way of doing things to find meaning again. Meaning is not the problem. Meaning is a decision and you get to decide. Let's make that decision today Let yourself acknowledge the grief. It is sad. It is so tragic when people lose their jobs and their lives are deeply affected. There's so much clean pain that goes with that. Feel your grief and acknowledge it, but let yourself also be honest about what you miss, the connection, the people, the trust, the fun, and then ask How can I create that fun again, that connection again, right where I'm at? You can be sad and grieve, and you can also decide to make the most of whatever's before you. We can't change the past, but we can bring forward the parts of the past that mattered. And maybe it's connection, maybe it's humor, maybe it's fun and clarity and passion and vision. Maybe it's someone who lifts the energy of a whole group instead of absorbing everybody into their own apathy black hole You are not helpless here. You're so powerful. So be that person. Here's the courage you can take into action. There's tiny moves that change everything You don't need to overhaul your job. You don't need a new boss. Don't complain about all those things. You don't need the new strategy to get rolled out. You need small, courageous moments in this day today. So here are a few Message one of your colleagues you care about and say, hey, how are you really doing today? Can I buy you a coffee? Do one meaningful thing today, even if nobody notices. It literally could be smiling at people as they pass you on your way to lunch Choose curiosity over judgment. Tell yourself I'm open to seeing what's possible here. Who knows? And this is so true because I've heard from so many people that will say, I just don't get it. I just don't see where we're going And instead of being closed off, be open to see what could be possible here. You get to help create that. So much better to be a part of the team than to make yourself an outsider from the very beginning. Give yourself actual rest. Not like Netflix numbing type rest, but real rest. Courage is not loud. Courage is steady. And right now, the bravest thing you can do is stay open, open to the grief and the feelings you feel, but also open to the future of what you can create. So if you're listening to this and you're thinking, yes, this is so where I'm at right now. I'm tired of the apathy. I want to feel inspired again, but I don't know how to get myself there. I want to invite you to my School of Courage membership program. This is a monthly program where we practice dropping the guilt and the self-judgment. Every month has a theme, things like self-confidence, defining your future from the inside out. and solving real life problems through group coaching that actually works. These are the tools that I want to teach you to change your own life. And I want you to be the person that creates your spark no matter what's happening around you If you want to find out more about the School of Courage membership, go to courage. thscholofcourage. com and find out more information. The link is also in the show notes. And just a reminder here, you don't have to wait for someone else to inspire you. You don't have to wait for things to settle down at work. You don't have to wait for clarity, for inspiration. You can create all that right now inside of yourself. That's the spark you've been missing, and that's the spark you can get back, truly. Feel the grief but also start creating the future that you want for you. And that's what courageous leadership is really all about So this week, may you have an amazing week. May you feel the real 50-50, because I imagine there's a lot of what feels like negative, and that's just all human emotion. Love on yourself with that I'll see you guys next time. Take everybody