68 It’s Not About the Gym The Real Secret to Weight and Energy for Busy Moms Healthy Living 6

You are listening to the Great Leader Great Mom podcast, episode 68. I'm your host, Liz Jolly, founder of the School of Courage. I'm an engineer, turned life coach, because I saw the need for more courage in my own life. As a mom and wanting to be a great leader. I use the skills we cover every day in my own life and I'm excited to teach them to you so you can unlock your own potential. Welcome everybody. Today is gonna be the last in our healthy living series, and we're going to talk about things like working out and like what do you do if you just don't have time to work out. So I want to go back in time over 15 years ago when I first became a supervisor and I had a manager that I knew pretty well and and he didn't say his exact words, but this is the way I heard what he said. He told me, well, it's great you're a supervisor now, but get ready because you're not gonna have any time and you're not gonna be able to work out and you're gonna gain a bunch of weight. Like that's just what will happen. And he wasn't Saying that to be like critical or mean, I think he just saw that as the fact of like you're gonna have no time. It's gonna be one of those things you're just gonna have to give up is working out. And I just remember kind of mulling that over for so long afterward. And now I know that he had it all wrong. Like It might have been meant as a kind thing like prepare yourself, but it really is not about having time to work out And that does not determine if you're overweight or not. It's not how much you run or hit the gym or starve yourself of calories. And Before especially before I had kids, I used to love to run. I used to live in Alaska near all these incredible hillside trails that were ski trails in the winter. but just amazing biking running trails in all the other seasons, except when it was really muddy. And they were just so magical and restorative. And I really equated the fact that if I could go for a run and run for three to five whatever miles, then that would help me stay fit and it would help me like maintain my weight. Like I equated those two. So I was totally in the same misconception that this manager was. And I was so blown away when I really learned the true problem that causes being overweight. and how to actually maintain your natural weight, like the weight you want to be at. Because if you've listened to parts of this series, you know now that weight loss and maintaining your ideal weight, it's it's about when you eat, like extending your fast. And it's about what goes in your mouth. It's about planning it. It's about feeling urges. Weight loss is not a calorie math problem It's a hormone problem, right? Like if you missed this episode, go back and listen. Insulin is the obesity hormone. It is the reason why our society is so overweight It is not the fact that we're not working out enough or going for long runs or going to the gym enough that's making us overweight. We need to keep our insulin low because that is the core of the problem. And again, we do this by extending our fast and avoiding eating all these concentrated foods that skyrocket our insulin There's a number of studies done on this decades ago, like really fascinating studies. And you can imagine that there's so many companies out there that don't make money off of people not eating or just eating unprocessed food because, you know, if you're a snack company, nobody's gonna want to buy your snacks. So To explain why this isn't a caloric math problem, let's go to a financial example. And this analogy is used in the Obesity Code by Dr. Jason Feng. It's a really fascinating book. I totally recommend that book as well as the Eat Stop Eat book. And he gives the analogy of if you're making $100,000 a year and you're spending $100,000 a year and then all of a sudden your job changes for some reason and you're making $25,000 a year. then you end up only spending $25,000 a year. And we're not taking out any debt here. Okay, go with my analogy from the book. Um your body always is seeking to find homeostasis. Like It's always trying to find that equilibrium to be efficient. So in the studies when someone reduced their caloric intake Then they found that people got really cold. Like other impacts were seen by how their body was trying to reduce the calories it would burn so that it could survive, right? It was trying to adjust back to like, oh, I only have $25,000. I'm only going to spend $25,000. This is also what screws up your metabolism because your body is trying to go to that homeostasis. And so your metabolism does get all screwed up And I will say many of us because our insulin has been so high for so long that we don't even know that we're full or hungry. And so we absolutely could be eating more calories than we need. And so When I say don't cut your caloric intake, it's like don't go below what your body actually needs to use for the day to run efficiently. And because once you get to this level And your body really knows when it's full and when it's hungry and you're keeping your insulin low, then you're going into that fast mode and you're burning fat, which is Amazing. And you don't need to cut your calories. You don't need to strive yourself down to like a thousand calories a day. Again, read the book Obesity Code. He goes into so many examples of the studies that were done. And um you can learn more about that You need to eat what your body needs, but no more. And so much of us eat emotionally, right? We eat just because it's there or kind of like unconsciously. And this is what we have to address as well to start to get to that equilibrium. for ourselves. So if you've been beating yourself up because you're a mom and you're trying to balance a career and do all the things because you were amazing, of course. But you're really mad at yourself for not going to the gym or making time for that, and you're blaming not having the ideal body that you want on not creating that time for you to go to the gym. Stop It's not a gym time problem. It's not the fact that you're not going for your five-mile runs. That is not the cause of your overweight. Go through this series and really try to figure out what your lifestyle need to look like. Like when are you gonna eat? What are you gonna eat? How are you gonna plan? What are you not gonna ever put in your mouth because it just doesn't serve your body? And Don't eat your emotions. And then when you do have time to go to the gym, go to build and maintain your muscle with resistance training. And this is talked about a lot with the Eat Stop Eat Book. Um, but you don't have to necessarily go to a lifting class or go to a yoga class. It could be being at home because you don't have time and you want to be with your kids. Get a stretchy band on Amazon or wherever and look up exercises. There's so many free exercises that you can do at home standing at your desk or sitting at your desk. You can do dips in your chair. It's totally fine. Um, so do the resistance training, the resistance weights work Because you want to do that to strengthen your muscles, don't beat yourself up when you don't make it to the gym. And don't blame your not being at your ideal weight on missing time for the gym. So I am a total nerd. I try to like even do exercises while I'm in the line. So one of the ones maybe many of you could relate. is if you go to the Whole Foods line to return your Amazon stuff, I do like toe rises standing there holding my box and I'm like, you know, it's a good twenty minutes sometimes doing toe rises and stretching and I look like a total nerd, which is fine. I'm okay with that. But it does two things for me. One, it's working out my calves. Two, it's very de stressing after dealing with the Whole Foods parking lot, for those of you that know what I mean and you've tried to find parking in the Whole Foods parking lot. There's a hilarious, I think it's a TikTok video of the Whole Foods parking lot where someone makes up a song about it and it's so great because maybe it's because all the people feel very um like proud of themselves for being organic or healthy or something and so um I don't know people get very aggressive and very um maybe self-righteous in the Whole Foods parking lot Anyway, I find it fascinating. Okay, so that's something you can do. Like at your desk, in the line, try to find ways to exercise. Um, and it can be so simple. And I would love to go back in time and find that person who said that to me 15 years ago and be like, you're wrong. You like I know that's what you think is connected to weight gain and not being the ideal weight But it's not, right? Like it's a hormone problem and an insulin problem. So I'm sure they will never listen to this podcast, which is totally fine, but it does make me chuckle. One of the things that's rather amusing too is um really recently I was asked in one week like seven times what do I do for a workout? Like what classes do you attend? And it was kind of uncomfortable because um I don't actually go to a lot of workout classes, honestly. And I was sort of concerned. So I go home and I was like, what am I missing? Am I in the mirror? Like, is there something funny about me that people think I work out a lot? Um Maybe I'm missing something. Maybe I should put my glasses on and actually pay more attention. But it made me laugh and um So when it came to answering them, it was sort of awkward because I honestly don't go to the gym a lot. Um I mean I played pickleball a lot this summer, but I don't go to a lot of classes. Um But they really wanted me to say like I go to the weightlifting class or I do blah blah blah um at the gym and um For s for the people that asked me that at pickleball, I wanted to be like, uh you see me in my free time, I'm here at pickleball. A sport which many consider not a sport and not even a workout. So I don't think that's the reason why So I um the answer I came up with was, well, I really like to do hot yoga, like this set sequence that is the same 26 poses. It's in a room of like 106 degrees. But honestly, for instance, I bought a 14 class punch card at Memorial Day and I have five left. So that's how much hot yoga I've done in the last three months. Pretty sure that's not the reason why they were asking me. So It doesn't matter as much as you think, like for losing weight, for having the ideal body that you want, going to the gym, running five miles, whatever it is, like dedicating your life to being at the gym and hitting all the workout classes. You can do this. Again, simply at home, you can do it in the line, you can do it at your desk. It really is possible to l to do the resistance training, but then also to follow all the things that keep your insulin level low and really address the root of the overweight problem, right? So if you missed all these episodes, go back and listen and find out how you can create this lifestyle That will be forever. It's not a diet. It's not dedicating your whole life to the gym. I was laughing as well, because nobody in an elevator when they ask What do you do to work out? Wants to hear me say, well it's really about when I eat and what I eat and I plan my food. And I avoid eating my emotions. Like that would be a response. They would probably look at me like, why did I just ask this person this? This is ridiculous. And then quickly exit the elevator when the door opened. So that was not my answer. But you know the secret that I know so we can do it together. And I mean the reality is I have three busy kids. I'm single. I don't have anybody at home that will make it easy for me to slip away to the gym for an hour and a half a day. I work full-time and I'm growing my school of courage business in my off time. I don't have time to go for five-mile runs. Every now and again I do on like a Friday off, but I don't go lift weights. I hardly know what to do when I get to that floor of the gym. Like for instance Literally I went to that floor twice this summer and I was up there and I was trying just to find a mat to stretch and one of the people that I know from pickleball was up there and he was like, Liz, you look so lost and I'm like, Yeah, I'm circling because I have no idea where a mat is or the little roly thing so I can stretch out my body. And they they were laughed at me and then pointed to the mats. So I am clueless. If you were to see me at the gym He'd be like, maybe she works out, but obviously she has no idea what she's doing or she's brand new. No, I just don't go do that very much. So I still play pickleball because I want the challenge and I want to learn something new and master something That makes me uncomfortable and I really do love the people that I play with, but I'm completely not doing it to lose weight or trying to burn more calories because I know that's not the root of the problem when it comes to having our natural weight and the body we really want. So if I can do this and maintain my desired body weight and not dedicate all my open hours to the gym You can too, totally. Go to the gym and enjoy that if you want to and you create time for that, but do not use this as an excuse to beat yourself up. up and hate on your family or resent your work from preventing you from going to the gym. And it's so easy to say, I'm juggling 5,000 things. I always just give up on myself and one of those things is going to the gym. No That is not helpful. Yes, you may be giving up and people pleasing and not doing what you actually want, but don't go to the reason that you're overweight or you're not the body that you want. Because you're not going to the gym and burning enough calories and it's all your family's fault or it's all your work's fault. Okay, that's a sneaky thought and it's not gonna serve you. If you want to get to the natural, healthy lifestyle that you want, you need to follow these things and address the insulin problem, not the caloric math problem. And you have to work on loving your body as it is today. You will not be more lovable when you lose 10, 20, 50, 100 pounds. You won't, I promise. You're 100% lovable now, just in the body you are in. Your happiness does not come from when you're thin. Think of all the thin people in the world that are miserable. You are not a unique unicorn that's different and you will Try to convince me that no, no, I will really be happy once I'm thin, I promise. It's not true because it's your brain that creates the happiness. It's not your thinness, right? Like in this whole podcast, we talk a lot about how your emotions come from your thinking. It is not the circumstance around you. Learn to love you as you are now, even if this means actually noticing how mean you are to yourself and the mean things you say. And just notice and then start with the reminder of, you know what, I have a body, or I really like my hair. Go to the Self-Love podcast. That one has some of the exercises that you can do to build that self-love on your journey to get to the ideal lifestyle. And don't let your brain judge every inch of you. Like when you look in the mirror and you're full of hate for your body That has no upside. That's just perpetuating this belief that you're not lovable. The solution to the body you desire is a lifestyle that is sustainable for the rest of your life, and it's not a diet It's not cutting calories or burning more calories. It's putting in your mouth what keeps your insulin low and going into that fast fat-burning mode every single day. Like skip breakfast. Side note, again, go back to the second episode of Healthy Living and really think about your emotions And many of us have learned from society to just eat our stress when we're juggling 1,000 things with our kids and all the home stuff that never ends. and everything at work. So if you're gonna take up actions to control your insulin, do the thought work as well. Like if you're gonna follow what I'm talking about in this healthy living series You have to manage your emotions and do the thought work. We're so trained to numb out with food. It's like marketing sees this and sells comfort in an ice cream container, sells relief in wine, and we have to not go towards that food or drink, but to actually feel our feelings and plan what goes in our mouth. And it's gonna feel terrible, you're gonna feel like you're gonna crawl out your skin. But the more you can learn to feel these negative emotions, the more you can truly take on anything in your whole life. Practice and get good at allowing these urges, right? Like we talked about the three skill sets are you plan your food, you eat what's on plan, and you allow urges. It's gonna feel uncomfortable, you're gonna want to go eat the bag of chips. Just notice it, write it down, acknowledge it, listen to some music, go for go for a walk. Like The last thing I'll say on working out is working out really is not bad. Like if you have time for this and you want to go for a walk or you want to go for a run, that is amazing. But what I want you to know is if you don't create the time for it because you'd rather be with your kids and you're working full-time, then do not use this as a reason to blame yourself. to beat yourself up, to get mad that you're not the way you want because you can't make it to the gym. Ergo, resentment to maybe your spouse or your kids or your job. It's not helpful. Listen to Eat Stop Eat. He talks about the importance of resistance training and this is again something you can just add to your house. Um if you have a I have a TRX at home which is really fun to do like My kids think it's hilarious too. But you can do a lot of muscle strengthening things, not in the gym. Okay, so if you have any questions at all, please contact me, go to lizjolly. com and you can find my contact info If you really want personalized one-on-one help with creating a protocol with feeling all your feelings instead of numbing out to them, Really contact me. I do have some one-on-one coaching slots available. And with that, I will see you all next week. Thanks everybody.